Burnt Out

Had I had the ability to hijack a 747, I would fly directly to Calgary to personally kick Todd Bertuzzi's ass along with the entire team's. Douche bags. And Rene Bourque gets the honorary title of douche bag numero uno.

Note: two former hawks below.

Yes, I admit in a past life, I once loved this flaming mofo. (No pun intended) But considering his play against the Hawks in this series, I would rather have Grandpa Chelios take jelly shots off of me than even think about loving any of the Flames ever again.... for now.

Anyways, his goal was a fluke. Yeah, Khabby was soff. It bounced off his blocker and went into the net. But I think he was just trying to imitate Cristobal Huet and say to the world, "See if I was Huet, I'd let in dumb, weak goals like this one."

Aw, Khabby it's okay. You put your somewhat best effort out there, Scout. It doesn't always go your way, especially when your defense is basically nonexistent. Just get back out there and show the hockey world why they gave you the nickname The Bulin Wall, and why Huet still doesn't have one. You will always be the number one goalie of the Hawks in my heart.

But honestly, I would be completely satisfied if we can just blame every single loss we ever had on Huet, regardless if he was in the net or not. It was just because the French Croissant was there that we didn't win.

In case you haven't caught on yet, me and Huet do NOT get along. He's one of the many reasons I never became a Caps fan. And he and Campbell belong on the list of the only two Blackhawks who I would like to drive into The Middle of Nowhere, Nebraska, dig a 6 foot hole, and bury alive. I would gladly spend some time in the slammer for that.

Onto the winner of our douche bag numero dos award: Dion Phaneuf.



I went crazy for those twenty or so seconds the fight lasted screaming "Yes, Ben! Yes!" once I realized Eager was tangled up with Phaneuf. If only Eags would have decked Phaneuf in the schnoz and done us all a favor so he can finally get that mountain he calls a nose fixed. Too bad.

I was keeping my fingers crossed for another full line brawl, because we all know how the last one turned out.


Those are my bad asses. I was just waiting for Khabby to get involved in this fight and go all slap-happy Semin on the Flames... It would have completed my still youthful life.

Kaner was out of the game due to the "flu," but Coach Q insisted that he should be ready to play in Game 4. I'm just thinking that maybe Kaner fell victim to check that was a little too rattling and the Hawks just called it the flu as a cover up? Who knows. NHL teams can be sneaky bastards...

And that didn't the least bit painful ^^
But it was evident that a little bit of spunk was missing from the lineup. I miss seeing that goddamn white mouth guard that he can never actually keep in his mouth.

Exhibit A:


Exhibit B: (Sorry if it's difficult to see, but trust me it's there)


Exhibit C, even the billboards seem to agree:

I guess the point of this, is that we miss you even though you tend to look like a fifteen year old girl at times. But with the new haircut you have moved up to twelve year old boy status. At least you've achieved manhood?

You still my boy, PK. So go on and get over that "flu" that you must have gotten from whoring around or whatever it is you do on your days off. While on my free time, I am still attempting to find your precious golden locks that you claimed are on ebay.

And we need your offensive presence because Kipper owned like we were his bitches.

There were maybe about fifty almost goals as told by the announcers that Kipper here robbed. So, um...Miikka? Can we get those back? Kaythanks.

But the series is still young with a possibility of four more games, a whole bunch of more tussles and scrums, and the guarantee that the Hawks will be doing some major ass kicking. You know this loss will not be taken lightly.

Note to the Wise: If you ever, EVER, dish out another dirty hit on Tazer, you filthy assholes, I will find your current address in Calgary, and happily take an army of members of the Russian Mafia to make sure no will ever hear your name again.

And what the fuck is Miikka anyways?


Keep fighting, brohaass.